How the Internet is like a 2 Year Old

Google loves lists, so I did a list for all those Google bots to come find me!

1. It never, ever, EVER sleeps. You can try everything under the sun, but no amount of begging or pleading will put it to sleep. (Until you figure out melatonin is the key..then you sleep more than 4 hours!)
2. It has a limited vocabulary. 404 is its favorite but 500, 503, error, failure, under construction are a few of its choice words. Sometimes you just get a smile…emoji anyone?
3. You have to feed it constantly…data and content that is. There may be a few things that will be self-serve, but mostly you will spend an exorbitant amount of time, like the last 24 months, preparing it to feed itself (integration anyone?)
4. You have to dress it. Some days it will like what you’ve picked out and other days not so much. See item 2 for vocabulary choices, more than likely you’ll get an ugly emoji.
5. You have to protect it. Cyber security anyone? I’ll need your first name, last name, email at a minimum for you to proceed.
6. You have to change it daily; maybe not every hour but at least once every 24 hours would be nice. (Ain’t nobody got time for stinky content.) Thank you Google spider bots.
7. It will color with all the colors of the rainbow. You can control the color choices and try applying some CSS, but it may not always take the code.
8. It will get hurt, no matter how well you helicopter parent! When it does get hurt it will not tell you who, how or where it got hurt, but it will try to use its limited vocab to give you the details, which ends up as no help what so ever!
9. It will never leave you alone no matter where you are! It will find you…bathroom, closet, in the bed sleeping; it’s only one glowing screen away in the next room or bed side table. Privacy, what privacy?!?!
10. It will take a freaking village to raise a great two year old!! A huge shout out to all those that make the internet a wonderful thing…even with all the terrible two stories we can all share!